The Laughter Zone - Haste Raho!!!!

**Thanedaar** Posts : 943

Aaj kal sabko tension is giving kuchh zyada hi stress tho I thought we should all look for ways to bhagao the stress and relieve the tension \'blush\'

Samajh aaya?? 'smug'

Nahin?? ' Shock

' No probs apun hai nah....Khiladi is here then no fear ' Wink

)'

All we can all do here is post anything & everything to make us laugh uncontrollably, giggle hard or even just raise a smile on our face batting eyelashes

Chahe woh santa banta ki kartoot ho yah phir some american funda yah phir any joke or gig or hasi ka tamasha, just post it here & make someone's day by making them show their teeth Grin

This is a special 'muskurahat' topic so you can even share the funny situations in your life, whether it has happened to you or when you have pulled someone's leg or gotten into any masti...kuchh bhi..bas just share with us...we promise not to laugh...errrrrr....at least not loudly yaar ' Wink

)'

Start off immediately....after all, laughter IS the best medicine (doctors se bacho!!!) ':-bd'

~~ The Laughter Zone - Haste Raho!!!!~~ 24q0ocw

**Administrator** Posts : 845

Good topic Rahila..DD..

As laughter is the best medicine...at the moment i can only think of a revamped song (by me ' Wink

)')

'Marjaani Marjaani...Marjaani Marjaani....Khasma Nu Khaaye...Donny Ki Naani'... '' \'blush\'

Can't put anyone else's name so put mine... ' Wink

)'

**Crazy Painter** Posts : 1580

'

'...Donny this really cracked me up...' rolling on the floor

'..thx...

Nice topic Rahi

**Crazy Painter** Posts : 1204

nice topic rahi
donny nice song : lol

:

**Thanedaar** Posts : 1802

aaww nice topic!!
haha don! )
Nitz tu hasaa na ab

**Thanedaar** Posts : 943

These are for the ladies!!

One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweat- shirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?"
"It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"
He yelled back, " University of Cape Town "

And they say blondes are dumb...
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------

Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumour
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death.
AMEN
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be men.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?
A: Trustworthy.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------

**Thanedaar** Posts : 943

Doctor to patient:You will die within 2 hours. Do you want to see any one before you die?
Patient: Yes. A good doctor..

Sardar: My mobile bill how much?
Call centre girl: sir, just dial 123to know current bill status
Sardar: Stupid, not CURRENT BILL my MOBILE BILL.

Q: How do you make a sardarji laugh on Saturday?
A: Tell him a joke on Wednesday.

Wife-Oye ji, Sunte Ho,Utho Utho,Raat ke 2 baje he.
Husband- itni raat ko Q...Uthaya Mujhe
Wife-Aap neend ki goli lena to bhul hi gaye..!

Santa : "Ek litre gaaye{cow} Ka Dhoodh Dena."
Banta : "Lekin Tumhara Bartan To Bohut Chhota Hai."
Santa :"Theek He To Fir BAKRI Ka De de.."

Interviewer>To bataiye PANI ke bina Insan kaise Marega?
Sardar>PANI nai hoga to Insan tarega kaise? Aur tarega nahi to doob jayega!

Sardar: I think that girl is deaf..
Friend: How do u know?
Sardar: I told I Love her, but she said her chappals are new

Friend: I got a brand new Ford IKON for my wife!
Sardar: Wow!!! That's an unbelievable exchange offer!!!

Teacher: Which is the oldest animal in world?
Sardar: ZEBRA
Teacher: How?
Sardar: Bcoz it is Black & White

Sardar: Miss, Did u call 2 my mobile?
Teacher: Me? No, why?
Sardar: Yesterday I saw in my mobile- “1 Miss Call".

Judge: Don't U have shame? It is the 3rd time U R coming to court.
Sardar to judge: U R coming daily, don't U have shame?

Question: "Should Women have Children after 35?"
Smart Sardar Replied: "No!
35 Children are more than enough!!"

Sir: What is difference between Orange and Apple?
Sardar: Color of Orange is orange, but color of Apple is not APPLE.

Sardar attending an interview in Software Company.
Manager: Do U know MS Office?
Sardar: If U give me the address I will go there sir.

Sardar in airplane going 2 Bombay .. While its landing he shouted: " Bombay ... Bombay "
Air hostess said: "Be silent."
Sardar: "Ok. Ombay. Ombay"

Sardar got a sms from his girl friend:
"I MISS YOU"
Sardarji replied:
"I Mr YOU" !!.

Sardar: Doctor! My Son swallowed a key
Doctor: When?
Sardar: 3 Months Ago
Dr:Wat were u doing till now?
Sardar: We were using duplicate key

Why does Sardar open his lunch box in the middle of the road???
Just 2 confirm whether he is going to or coming back from the office....

Son: papa, 4+3 kithne hai?
Sardar: ullu ke patthe gadhe idiot naalaayak besharam tujhe kuch nahi aathaa? Jaa andhar se CALCULATOR le ke Aa..

After finishing MBBS Sardar started his practice. He checked 1st patient's eyes, tongue & ears with a Torch & finallly said:
"Torch is okay"

Sardar1: Oye, what will happen if electricity was not discovered?
Sardar2: Nothing, we must watch TV in candle light.

Teacher: "What is common between JESUS, KRISHNA , RAM, GANDHI and BUDHA?"
Sardar: "All are born on government holidays...!!!

**Thanedaar** Posts : 943

This is a collection of leave letters and applications written by people in various places of India ...

1. Infosys, Bangalore : An employee applied for leave as follows:
Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife, please sanction me one-week leave.

2. This is from Oracle Bangalore:
From an employee who was performing the "mundan" ceremony of his 10 year old son: "as I want to shave my son's head, please leave me for two days.."

3. Another gem from CDAC. Leave-letter from an employee who was performing his daughter's wedding:
"as I am marrying my daughter, please grant a week's leave.."

4. From H.A.L. Administration dept:
"As my mother-in-law has expired and I am only one responsible for it, please grant me 10 days leave."

5. Another employee applied for half day leave as follows:
"Since I've to go to the cremation ground at 10 o-clock and I may not return, please grant me half day casual leave"

6. An incident of a leave letter
"I am suffering from fever, please declare one day holiday."

7. A leave letter to the headmaster:
"As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I request you to leave me today"

8. Another leave letter written to the headmaster:
"As my headache is paining, please grant me leave for the day."

9. Covering note: "I am enclosed herewith..."

10. Another one:
"Dear Sir: with reference to the above, please refer to my below..."

11. Actual letter written for application of leave:
"My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband at home I may be granted leave".

12. Letter writing: -
"I am in well here and hope you are also in the same well."

13. A candidate's job application:
"This has reference to your advertisement calling for a ' Typist and an Accountant - Male or Female'...As I am both(!! )for the past several years and I can handle both with good experience, I am applying for the post.

--

**Crazy Painter** Posts : 2043

lolz omg soo funnyyyy

**Crazy Painter** Posts : 1204

rahi very funny :cheers:

**Thanedaar** Posts : 943

guys...don't just comment...everyone also post nah!! Razz

**Thanedaar** Posts : 943

Two factory workers are talking.
The woman says, "I can make the boss give me the day off."
The man replies, "And how would you do that?"
The woman says, "Just wait and see." She then hangs upside-down from the ceiling.
The boss comes in and says, "What are you doing?"
The woman replies, "I'm a light bulb."
The boss then says, "You've been working so much that you've gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off."
The man starts to follow her and the boss says, "Where are you going?"
The man says, "I'm going home, too. I can't work in the dark." lol

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Jim and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they
Were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into
the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Edna
promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim
Out.

When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act, she
immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now
considered her to be mentally stable. When she went to tell Edna the
news she said, "Edna, I have good news and bad news.

The good news is you're being discharged; since you were able to respond rationally to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of another patient, I have concluded that your act displays that you have a sound mind.

The bad news is, Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead."
Edna replied, "He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry. How soon can I go home?" lol

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A store that sells husbands has just opened in a city, where a woman
goes to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a
description of how the store operates. You may visit the store ONLY ONCE!
There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the
shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch. .... You may choose
any man from a
particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go
back down except to exit the building!
So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a
husband...On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men have jobs and love the Lord.

The second floor sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, and
love kids.
The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love
kids, and are extremely good looking.
" Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep
going.

She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love
kids, are drop- dead good looking and help with the housework.
"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand
it!"
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love
kids, are drop- dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a
strong romantic streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign
reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 4,363,013 to this floor. There are no men on
this floor.
This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.
Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. Watch your step as you exit
the building, and have a nice day! lol

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Windows Hindi Version(NEW IN MARKET)

Bill Gates had announced that Microsoft plans to release a windows version in Hindi.

Here are some Windows related terms that are to be used in the Hindi version of ......... Khidkiyan'DoHazar ( Windows 2000 ):

1.Phaail = File

**************

2.Bachao = Save

**************

3.Aise Bachao = Save as

**************

4.Subko Bachao = Save All

**************

5.Mujhe Bachao = Help

**************

6.Dhoondo = Find

**************

7.Firse Dhoondo = Find Again

**************

8.Hilao = Move

**************

9.Dak = Mail

**************

10.Dakiya = Mailer

**************

11.Paas se dhekho = Zoom

**************

12.Door se dhekho = Zoom Out

**************

13.Kholo = Open

**************

14.Bandh Karo = Close

**************

15.Naya = New

**************

16.Purana/Khatara = Old

**************

17.Badli Karo = Replace

**************

18.Bhaago = Run

**************

19.Chaapo = Print

**************

20.Dekh Ke Chaapo = Print Preview

**************

21.Nakal Utaaro/Kaapi =Copy

**************

22.Kaato = Cut

**************

23.Chipkao = Paste

**************

24.Payshal Chipkao = Paste Special

**************

25.Goli Maaro = Delete

**************

26.Nazaara = View

**************

27.Hatyaar = Tools

**************

29.Khuli Chaadar = Spreadsheet

**************

30.Kalti Maaro = Exit

**************

36.Idhar-se-Udhar - Forward

Additional Softwares / errors

1. 'This program has performed an illegal operation - "Abort,Retry or Ignore" ? - "Is karyakram ne gairkanooni kaam kiya hai -zatak se bandkaro (abort),Koshish karte raho/Hum honge Kamyaab (retry), Goli Maro (Ignore)"

2. MICROSOFT POWERPOINT - "AtiSukshma Mulayam ShaktiBindu"

3. MICROSOFT WORD 6 - "AtiSukshma Mulayam Shabda Cheh"

4. MICROSOFT ACCESS - "AtiSukshma Mulayam PRAVESH KI SAMMATI"

5. FOXPRO - "Lombdigiri (Lomiree) mein Maahir"

6. MICROSOFT ! VISUAL C++ - "AtiSukshma Mulayam Nazaaraa C adhik hi adhik"

7. OFFICE 2000 - "Karyalaya 2000 mein"

8. Internet Explorer - "Taaron ke Jaal ka Sanshodhak"

9. Lotus Notes - " Kamal ke Ruppeye"

10. ACCESS DENIED - " Ghusne ki Agya nahi"

Grin

**Thanedaar** Posts : 943

Making a baby. This is hilarious!

There is not one dirty word in it, and it is funny!!!

The Patels were unable to conceive children and decided to use a
surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father
was to arrive, Mr. Patel kissed his wife goodbye and said, 'Well, I'm
off now. The man should be here soon.'

Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer
happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. 'Good morning,
Ma'am', he said, 'I've come to...'

'Oh, no need to explain,' Mrs. Patel cut in, embarrassed, 'I've been
expecting you.'

'Have you really?' said the photographer. 'Well, that's good. Did you
know babies are my specialty?'

'Well that's what my husband and I had hoped Please come in and have a seat !.

After a moment she asked, blushing, 'Well, where do we start?'

'Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the
couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room
floor is fun. You can really spread out there.'

'Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and me!'

'Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if
we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven
angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results.'

'My, that's a lot!', gasped Mrs. Patel.

'Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be
In and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with
that.'

'Don't I know it,' said Mrs. Patel quietly.

The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of
his baby pictures. 'This was done on the top of a bus,' he said.

'Oh, my God!' Mrs. Patel exclaimed, grasping at her throat.

'And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider
their mother was so difficult to work with.'

'She was difficult?' asked Mrs. Patel.

'Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the
job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get
a good look'

'Four and five deep?' said Mrs. Patel, her eyes wide with amazement.

'Yes', the photographer replied. 'And for more than three hours, too.
The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly
concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots..
Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had
to pack it all in.'

Mrs. Patel leaned forward. 'Do you mean they actually chewed on your,
uh...equipment?'

'It's true, Ma'am, yes.. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod
and we can get to work right away.'

'Tripod?'

'Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much
too big to be held in the hand very long.'
Mrs. Patel Fainted.

Rolling Eyes

**Crazy Painter** Posts : 1580

OMGGGGGGGGGGG rolling on the floor

this was too good... rolling on the floor

**Thanedaar** Posts : 943

hehe..thanks Rolfy Razz

tere paas kam kisse nahin hai sunaane ko...bas ur too lazy to share Sad

**Thanedaar** Posts : 943

Credit: Prii

Medical Problem

An old woman came into her doctor's office and confessed to an embarrassing problem. "I do that all the time, Doctor Johnson, but they're soundless, and they have no odor. In fact, since I've been here, I did it no less than twenty times. What can I do?"

"Here's a prescription, Mrs. Harris. Take these pills three times a day for seven days and come back and see me in a week."

Next week an upset Mrs. Harris marched into Dr. Johnson's office. "Doctor, I don't know what was in those pills, but the problem is worse! I'm doing it just as much, but now it smells terrible! What do you have to say for yourself?"

"Calm down, Mrs. Harris," said the doctor soothingly. "Now that we've fixed your sinuses, we'll work on your hearing!!!"

~~ The Laughter Zone - Haste Raho!!!!~~

~~ The Laughter Zone - Haste Raho!!!!~~

NOTE

The Laughter Zone - Haste Raho!!!!

The Laughter Zone - Haste Raho!!!!