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FF : O Saathi Re...(Meeting after long tym.... Pg 27) |
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Verni
Thanedaar
Posts : 662
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Subject: FF : O Saathi Re...(Meeting after long tym.... Pg 27)  Tue Jan 06, 2009 6:10 am |
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Okk now with due permission of the administrators I am starting a fan-fiction here, I hope u all will like it... and encourage me if I make mistakes or do not write too well.. which I know will happen... because I have lost the touch ... it's been one year almost... so please bear with me... and if u do notlke it.. I'll close it ..  :
Remember I am open to any kind of sugestions.. and any kind of criticsm.. 
And I may not be regualr due to my studies.. but will try to write at least twice a week or more... :
The introduction will come as soon as I get some positive response...
Luv Verni...
Sudha's character is played by Ashima Bhalla of " Meri Awaz ko mil gayi roshni.." 
Last edited by Verni on Sun Aug 09, 2009 1:21 pm; edited 24 times in total
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*Resham*
Crazy Painter
Posts : 1580
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| Subject: Re: FF : O Saathi Re...(Meeting after long tym.... Pg 27) Tue Jan 06, 2009 7:08 am |
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Verniiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii...
Back with ur dose of ff :Dance: ...will be waiting for sure...main apna likhoon naa likhoon ): ..tera zaroor padhoongi :-bd: ....
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poorvi
Thanedaar
Posts : 585
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| Subject: Re: FF : O Saathi Re...(Meeting after long tym.... Pg 27) Tue Jan 06, 2009 9:37 am |
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verni...u dont know how much i was waiting for ur FF.....i hv read ur last one many times :
waitin cont soon bacchu :
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nitya
Crazy Painter
Posts : 1204
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| Subject: Re: FF : O Saathi Re...(Meeting after long tym.... Pg 27) Tue Jan 06, 2009 10:11 am |
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haa verni back too bussines haaa good bacha :cheers: was waiting soo zaldi cont ittt warna
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Verni
Thanedaar
Posts : 662
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| Subject: Re: FF : O Saathi Re...(Meeting after long tym.... Pg 27) Tue Jan 06, 2009 10:30 am |
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Sure will write soon....
@ reshu : tu poori pagal hai
@ poorvi : thanku bachchaaa
@ nituuu : haan re likhungi...
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anku2cute
Scribbler
Posts : 126
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| Subject: Re: FF : O Saathi Re...(Meeting after long tym.... Pg 27) Tue Jan 06, 2009 10:46 am |
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vernuuuuuuuuu welcome bck to writing....waiting eagerlyy for ur write ups
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Rah
Thanedaar
Posts : 943
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| Subject: Re: FF : O Saathi Re...(Meeting after long tym.... Pg 27) Tue Jan 06, 2009 11:45 pm |
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Ohhhhhh finalllllllllllllllllllllllllyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.....have been desperately waiting for these good news!! :Dance: ...Verni am so glad you decided to start a new FF.....main kuchh aur nah karoon tho chalega lekin tera FF zaroor parungi....all the very best sweets :hug: ...ab jaldi likho!!! :-w: :-w:
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Verni
Thanedaar
Posts : 662
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| Subject: Re: FF : O Saathi Re...(Meeting after long tym.... Pg 27) Wed Jan 07, 2009 6:00 am |
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Sure rahi...here it is...
everyone please do tell my faults...
A stamp is put on a paper... and a signature is done by a lady ,in her fifties... the lady, who signed, passes on the paper to the people sitting infront of her...
The man signs “ Sumit Wadhwa “...
Then a lady signs “ Kumkum Wadhwa “...
They handover the paper back to the former lady.
The mid-aged lady : You are divorced now.
The couple luk at each other... with an expressionless face, the mid-aged lady continues,
Lady : Par aap logon ko is divorce ke confirmation ke liye ek saal baad fir se kuch papers sign karne honge. Zaruri hota hai.
Sumit Wadhwa : Ek saal baad?... Main kuch samjha nahi...??
Lady : Kuch log divorce lene ke baad dobara ek hona chahte hain to yeh ek saal ka waqt diya jaata hai.. agar kal ko aap log bhi...
Kumkum Wadhwa : Hum ek saal baad aake sign kar denge.  :
Lady luks at her trying to read the blank face.
Sumit Wadhwa : Jee .
Lady : Theek hai.
The couple gets up and leaves.
A girl enters,
Girl : Ma’am aapne inse yeh kyun kaha ki yeh ek sal baad ki formality poori karna zaruri hai, jabki wo papers sign kiye bina bhi divorce to maana hi jaata hai.
Lady : Jaanti hun... pata nahi maine aisa kyun kaha?.. Shaayad main unhe ek mauka dena chahti thi?.. Pata nhi kyun?... Pata nahin kyun main nahi chahti ki yeh dono alag ho... :-/:
She sighs and starts doing her work.
**********************************************************************************
The couple comes out and starts walking down the stairs, without even glancing each other, quietly, with blank faces.
Then at end stairs Sumit moves a bit ahead near his car and starts opening the door, then he hears a voice, he turns...
“Auto”...
He sees that Kumkum, his wife, sits in the auto and it goes away.
He, too, quietly sits in his car droves off...
Hope u like it... :
Last edited by Verni on Wed Jan 07, 2009 6:09 am; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : To change the color n font size of the write up.)
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nitya
Crazy Painter
Posts : 1204
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| Subject: Re: FF : O Saathi Re...(Meeting after long tym.... Pg 27) Wed Jan 07, 2009 6:57 am |
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haa verni first part saa hii sixer hogya :cheers: start only seems intresting bacha cont soon kitna sawaal hii why divorce :-/:
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*Resham*
Crazy Painter
Posts : 1580
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| Subject: Re: FF : O Saathi Re...(Meeting after long tym.... Pg 27) Wed Jan 07, 2009 7:16 am |
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This was unexpected verni....  :
Bt it might turn out interesting now... : :
Good start dear... :-bd:
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poorvi
Thanedaar
Posts : 585
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| Subject: Re: FF : O Saathi Re...(Meeting after long tym.... Pg 27) Wed Jan 07, 2009 9:45 am |
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gud start verni......quite intersting
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Verni
Thanedaar
Posts : 662
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| Subject: Re: FF : O Saathi Re...(Meeting after long tym.... Pg 27) Wed Jan 07, 2009 9:49 pm |
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@ nitya : thanku bachcha.. hmmm sawaalon ke jawab to tumhe dhoondhne hain... 
@ reshu : agar tu keh rahi hai to sach mein unexpected hi hoga otherwise u always predict ::
@ poorvi : Thanku bachcha will continue soon... :
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Rah
Thanedaar
Posts : 943
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| Subject: Re: FF : O Saathi Re...(Meeting after long tym.... Pg 27) Thu Jan 08, 2009 1:05 am |
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wow 1st part main divorce...dil thor diya : : ..par knowing u, am expecting a very interesting explanation for this situation....awesome start Bachcha :applause: :hug: ...can't wait for the next part now :-SS: ...
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Verni
Thanedaar
Posts : 662
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| Subject: Re: FF : O Saathi Re...(Meeting after long tym.... Pg 27) Thu Jan 08, 2009 5:24 am |
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@ rahi : thanku bachchaa... lo aa gaya next part... :smile:
“Sumit kya kar rahe ho?... kahan le jaa rahe ho?...”
Sumit was holding Kumkum from back, who was wearing a orange suit, and was blindfolded...
Sumit : Sshhhh kitna bolti ho chup chaap chalti raho...
Kumkum : arey magar batao to sahi...
Sumit : ek second chup raho na baba... achcha ab yahin rukna... hilna nahi...
Kumkum stands quietly.. till sometime she doesn’t move... but she hears no voice n no response...
Kumkum :Sumit... Sumit tum ho naa...
She tries opening the blindfold... when someone holds her hand...
Sumit : Ruko naa...
Kumkum : Sumit kya ho raha hai... kuch bataoge bhi?...kahan gaye the?
Sumit : okk kholo apni aankhen...
She removes the blindfold.. and she sees... somethings kept on the bed...
She goes near the bed.. and starts picking all those things and luks at them keenly...
It was their wedding card n a bridal dress i.e. red joda...
Sumit comes n sits near her...
Sumit : I know bohut heavy work nahi hai... par isse zyaada mehnga main le nahi paaya.. aur.. ladki ke liye joda ladke walon ki taraf se jaata hai naa.. aur main to akela hi hun to...
Kumkum holds his hand ,
Kumkum : Thanku... Tum nahi jaante yeh mere liye kya ehmiyat rakhta hai... koi kuch bhi khareed sakta hai par yeh ehsaas nahi..
She sees the wedding card and smiles...
Kumkum : Sumit mujhe sirf tumhara saath chahiye... zindagi bhar ke liye...
Sumit (smiles and moves towards her, places his hands on her cheeks) : Wo to hai hi tumhara .. hamesha se hi...
“Wo to hai hi tumhara.. hamesha se hi...”
Kumkum hears the door opening and she keeps the wedding dress in her hand inside the suitcase.
Sumit comes in... he sees her packing her things..
Sumit : Itni jaldi nahi hai... tum chaho to yahan ruk sakti ho..
Kumkum looks at him.. Sumit’s face was blank..
Sumit: ... jab tak ghar ka intezaam nahi hota..
Kumkum : Thanks... I’ll manage..
She continues packing...
Sumit goes out... and sits on the couch... his mobile rings...he picks up the call...
Sumit : Hii Raj... Hmm am fine yaar.... tu kabse nahi mila... kahan hai kaisa hai?... Kya??? (he gets up excited) tu yahan aa raha hai...
Kumkum comes and stands there, keeps the keys of the house...
Sumit looks at her... now after the divorce for the first time they look at each other... eye-to-eye... for 2 minutes... but none of them cries, or is hurt... instead there are some faded questions n a lost kind of feeling...in their eyes.
Sumit (to his friend) : I’ll talk to you later...
Kumkum looks down and picks up her bag n starts moving...
Sumit : Kahin chod dun tumhe?
Kumkum stops but does not turn, simply shakes her head meaning “no”.
She goes near the door and opens it... just one side... she stops for sometime.. she didn’t know why?.. then she opened the other side and we see Sumit standing behind...
She moves out and takes a few steps and again stops..
She hears voices...
“Sumit... Sumit... main gir jaongi ... ohho.... Sumit”...
Kumkum was laughing also as Sumit was carrying her, they were in the wedding get up... a newly married couple...
Sumit : Bas aa gaya... hunhhh...
He puts her down... she luked beautiful as a bride...
Sumit : Yeh raha hamara ghar...
Kumkum sees that on the door it was written “Kumkum And Sumit Wadhwa.”
Kumkum smiles on seeing this... then Sumit opens the door... there was decoration inside... and all the kalash of rice and thali of “lal rang” was prepared already.
Kumkum : Sumit... yeh sab kisne kiya?
Sumit : Of course maine...
Kumkum (happily) : Sach...
Sumit : Ermm.. lemme complete... Of course maine.. To nahi kiya... yahan is doosre flat mein ek aunty rehti hain, unhone... abhi wo hain nahi... jab aayengi to mila dunga..
Kumkum : hmm..Sumit: Ohho ab intezaar kis baat ka?... Chalo andar.
She does everything and they enter...
The door closes...
Kumkum comes out of the past memories... she turns and sees that the door was closed...
On the door it was still written “Kumkum And Sumit Wadhwa.”
[size=13]She looks infront again... and moves...[/size]
Please do give the amendments..
Last edited by Verni on Thu Jan 08, 2009 5:29 am; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : To change the color n font)
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nitya
Crazy Painter
Posts : 1204
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| Subject: Re: FF : O Saathi Re...(Meeting after long tym.... Pg 27) Thu Jan 08, 2009 6:26 am |
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haa verni yupp rocking like always
haa soo many questions phir saaa ):
agla paart
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Rah
Thanedaar
Posts : 943
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| Subject: Re: FF : O Saathi Re...(Meeting after long tym.... Pg 27) Thu Jan 08, 2009 6:57 am |
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yipeee romance tho dikhaya!!! :Dance: ....fantabulous part Verni :applause: ...am really curious....itna pyar tho kya hua hoga ke they've come to divorce :-S: ...& Sumit akela hai so no family...
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*Resham*
Crazy Painter
Posts : 1580
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| Subject: Re: FF : O Saathi Re...(Meeting after long tym.... Pg 27) Thu Jan 08, 2009 7:14 am |
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Verni: It was unexpected start...bt kinda knw nw where u wd take the story ahead..good part dear..keep it up!!
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poorvi
Thanedaar
Posts : 585
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| Subject: Re: FF : O Saathi Re...(Meeting after long tym.... Pg 27) Thu Jan 08, 2009 8:19 am |
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fabulaous part verni :applause: ....curiosity badhti ja rahi hai...jaldi likna
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sonalisaxena
Scribbler
Posts : 288
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| Subject: Re: FF : O Saathi Re...(Meeting after long tym.... Pg 27) Thu Jan 08, 2009 9:20 am |
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Verni di..!!I am here too and this is my first post yayy..!!!
It was aweeeeeeeeeeeesome..
It feels great to read a part frm u..pata hai na?..
And di..it was my type..i love such parts a lott..
Thanks for considering ur readers' wish ..
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Verni
Thanedaar
Posts : 662
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| Subject: Re: FF : O Saathi Re...(Meeting after long tym.... Pg 27) Fri Jan 09, 2009 5:03 am |
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@ nittu : tu nahi sudhregi naa... arey haan baba... likh rrahi hun agla part... sabr kar...
@ rahi : hmm... abhi to shuruwaat hai.. keep thinking the reasons... :-?:
@ reshu : Hmm mujhe pata hai tune guess kar liya hoga... : ):
@ poorvi : sure bachcha will write soon... :
@ sonu : bachchaaaaaaa welcomeeeeee.... I know u achche se... n u better not thank me... samjhi...  (:
Thanku everyone... next part is coming up..
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Verni
Thanedaar
Posts : 662
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| Subject: Re: FF : O Saathi Re...(Meeting after long tym.... Pg 27) Fri Jan 09, 2009 5:09 am |
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Kumkum standing in the bridal dress and a few friends...
A girl : Sumit , hum aur kitna intezaar karenge?... aur kiska?
Sumit : Bas do minute...
Another : Sumit tum dono ki shaadi ho chuki hai.. ab tum ise ghar le jao naa...
Sumit looks at Kumkum, who was also confused...
Sumit : haan bas...
Then a decorated car comes,..
A guy comes out and goes to Sumit..
Guy : sorry yaar... traffic jam mein phans gaya tha... Namaste bhabhi... main Sumit ka dost hun.. wo shaadi ke baad Sumit aapko ek saji hui gaadi mein le jaana chahta tha to usne mujhse kaha tha... par mujhe hi der ho gayi...
Kumkum looks at Sumit...
A girl : Ohhh.. Sumit tumhe to bada khyaal hai apni Kumkum ka... chalo ab le bhi jao ise...
They sit in the car... Sumit was to drive the car...
Kumkum : Is sab ki kya zarurat thi?..
Sumit : Kumkum, main jaanta hun.. ki bohut zyaada nahi kar sakta main.. par jitna haath mein hai... utne ki koshish to zarur karunga...
Kumkum smiles...
Kumkum : tum naa paagal ho....
Sumit (comes closer) : Tumhare pyaar mein...
Kumkum : Ab gaadi start kar ke chalenge bhi...
Sumit : Sure ma’am...
The car starts...
There is smoke and dust as Kumkum leaves in the taxi...
Sumit was watching this from the window... when she goes, he draws the curtain...
He sits on the bed... quietly... opens the drawer... takes out a photo frame of Kumkum and looks at it...
There are voices of Kumkum, which he hears...
“Hume koi alag nahi kar sakta”---- “Hume alag ho jana chahiye...” ----“ Main tumse bohuttttttttt zyaada pyaar karti hun” ---- “ Tum chaho to divorce papers main banwa dungi...”
The door-bell rings... and he keeps the frame inside the drawer, closes it and goes...
Hope u all like it...
Last edited by Verni on Fri Jan 09, 2009 5:12 am; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : to change the font n color...)
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Henna
Administrator
Posts : 1531
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| Subject: Re: FF : O Saathi Re...(Meeting after long tym.... Pg 27) Fri Jan 09, 2009 5:50 am |
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wow, this is more gripping than i thut it wud be when u first told me the idea of divorce...
seriously waiting for all the mystery to unravel... keep going verni.
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Verni
Thanedaar
Posts : 662
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| Subject: Re: FF : O Saathi Re...(Meeting after long tym.... Pg 27) Fri Jan 09, 2009 5:53 am |
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Thanku bachcha... tere hi response ki kami thi...
Really wanted to know how will u react....
Thanku ....
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Henna
Administrator
Posts : 1531
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| Subject: Re: FF : O Saathi Re...(Meeting after long tym.... Pg 27) Fri Jan 09, 2009 5:58 am |
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^ honestly, the mood and atmosphere u have created is just brilliant - one can totally imagine the situation.
Just the emotionless faces of SuKk are quite striking if u compare them to the colourful flashbacks, but no rohna dohna is way better and more unexpected/mysterious, I guess.
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*Resham*
Crazy Painter
Posts : 1580
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| Subject: Re: FF : O Saathi Re...(Meeting after long tym.... Pg 27) Fri Jan 09, 2009 7:33 am |
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Its a great story verni...sth unusual...keep it up!!
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| Subject: Re: FF : O Saathi Re...(Meeting after long tym.... Pg 27) |
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FF : O Saathi Re...(Meeting after long tym.... Pg 27) |
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